This was a friend's post on Facebook today: "All day I've asked myself what part I would have played if I had lived during Holy Week. It's a sobering question." Wow. I actually dreamed about this a little this morning...
I'm in the crowd. I can see his face. He's too exhausted to even wipe the rivulets of blood out of his dark, drooping eyes. His skin hangs in torn scraps from his bruised body. I can't imagine how he is even breathing, let alone standing. The pain in my chest feels like a weight of a thousand pounds. This is when I feel the tears on my cheek. I touch them gently. I open my mouth to speak and what comes out shocks...and sickens me.
WHAT?!? I'm confused, angry, pushed and shoved from all directions by the angry mob I'm surrounded by when it tears from my throat again.
The thought of his weakened condition forces my eyes to find his bent form up on the podium once more. This time, he is looking straight at me. Tears are in his eyes, but not tears of hurt. Not even anger. He looks at me with such love, such understanding, such...forgiveness. I feel powerless, immobile. I don't know what I've done. Wait, that's not true. I know EXACTLY what I've done.
I'm no better than Judas. Or Peter and the others, who hid to save themselves. I've betrayed Him with my words, my deeds, my actions, my lack of action. I was in that crowd. I screamed for Him to pay the ultimate price. I shouted for His blood to be spilled. Why???
We may not have been there in the flesh, but I know I was on His mind that dark Friday 2,000 years ago. I know He knew about every time I'd disappoint Him, every time I'd deny Him, every time I'd sin against Him. There is no difference in what sins I've committed in my life than what I dreamed about this morning. I'm no less guilty than the ones that stood in that crowd. His blood covered their sin. And it covers mine today.
I know that the concept of forgiveness is so very hard to grasp for us emotional, volatile human beings. We work and live by our emotions, and we can't understand the complete spectrum of His love for us. But we can choose to accept it. Had you been there, Jesus would have looked you straight in the eye. And you would have seen how very much He loved you. You can seek Him out today. He will speak straight into your soul. And you can see - TODAY - just how much He loves you.
It's Saturday, people. The darkest day in the history of the world. No hope. No light. Just the pain of lost dreams and a dead Messiah. But guess what?