One of my cousins is having a hard time right now. She just lost an uncle, and she got to reminiscing about how much easier childhood was than adulthood. I agree, it was easier. But I refuse to believe it was better. In fact, there are a lot of things in my childhood that I would just as rather forget - it was not always even easy. But nevertheless, I love my family and have wonderful memories growing up with a bevy of ornery, fun loving cousins. Here are just a few that came to me while reading her last blog post.
Playing on the haybales in the field across from my Aunt Trudi's house. The spinning top at Grandma and Grandpas that had drawings of ten little Indians on it. Playing in my Aunt Trudi's makeup drawer (my mom never had as much makeup as Aunt Trudi!). Laughing at my Uncle Jim when he got out of the shower, before he'd combed his hair in place!!! Being the littlest and getting away with a lot. Being included in games like Ghosts in the Graveyard without aunts and uncles forcing the big cousins to let me play. My cousin Kelly carrying me anywhere I wanted to go, at the drop of a hat, probably up to the time I was 10 or 11. My cousin Missy combing my hair - for hours, it seemed. Dancing in the living rooms at either of our houses. Watching horse races and building card houses with my Grandpa.
I know for some that it's hard to grow up, but I love my life now. I was blessed to have lots of family get togethers in my childhood, and I greatly miss having these people in my adult life on a regular basis. In fact, I always felt like I had 4 sisters and a brother growing up, but maybe I'm the only one who feels that way. I feel like I tried so hard to preserve some of these relationships and include some people in my adult life for so long, and nobody else was interested. Now, after accepting the fact that we have separate adult lives, I get people upset with me for not including them in things.
I've come to realize I can't make everybody happy. I took me the first 18 years of my life to accept that fact, and I often still have relapses of trying to please everyone. I love reminiscing and sharing fun stories. But I wouldn't go back. No, not even if I could. I am in the best season of my life, as far as I'm concerned. I have an incredible husband who loves me and our children fiercely. I have four wonderful kids that are true gifts from my Heavenly Father. I have surrounded myself with friends who love the Lord and love me. I'm happy to be where I am. I can be thankful of my past without despair because I have hope in the future.