I am wistful today. I have a heart full of hope and love for many of my sweet friends this week, yet I am also filled with a bit of sadness. Three of my girlfriends have announced that they are expecting again. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! I do mean that, I really do. Now, I do not want to hear from my Aunts Betty or Karen on this one, as I already know their thoughts on this matter! But a part of me - it depends on the day exactly how big that part is - aches for another baby! Crazy, I know. But there nonetheless.
I am excited about the ages my kids are at today. I love watching them grow, and I cherish seeing them reach new goals and accomplishments. I don't wish to go back in time when they were babies, but I do wish for time to stop moving so quickly. I don't want another baby just to have another baby. In fact, there are so many things about having a baby that I do NOT miss at all! But there is an unsettled part of my soul that whispers sometimes, "Is this family complete until God says it is?"
You see, as much as I want another baby, I want God's will for our lives more. I don't think this feeling inside me is a human, earthly, or fleshly desire. Like I said, I'm kind of selfish, and I even dread the idea of sleepless nights, endless crying, and dirty diapers. But I don't want to close that door until I'm sure of the will of God.
Why am I so unsure? Because Kelly and I keep being on different pages on the matter. There was a time when I was CERTAIN we were done. But Kelly was not. Now Kelly feels strongly that we should be done, and I do not. I think that door may still be open, if only a crack. And until God firmly shuts that door, I'm open to the possibility.
Until we reach that moment, however, I will relish all the amazing moments to come vicariously through my friends. My newest sweet sister, Adrienne, is going to use a midwife. She is so excited, and I've already told her I'm willing to stand in for Blaine! :) I am thrilled to have such wonderful friends who share their lives with our family, and I know I will get lots of hugs and love from these precious blessings. Of course, my arms are still full with my own little blessings, even if they don't like to be held for long anymore! And I choose to remember that I am abundantly blessed.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The Struggles I See
So here we are, 120 days from our 2nd trip to Disney, and I can hardly keep my mind on much else! :) It's not really that bad, but there are moments when I begin to see Hidden Mickeys where there is no possibility that they are there...and no, I do NOT need professional help - I get all the support I need through my allears family on Facebook. I am not even the biggest fan out there, and somehow that comforts me!
Even with the excitement of waiting for May to get here, there is a lot of drama going on around me right now. Not in our family specifically. In fact, our family is actually in a very sweet spot, waiting on the Lord and leaning on each other. It's not perfect, and we still don't where He is leading us, but we are finally ok with waiting on Him to show us the next piece of His plan in His time.
Unfortunately, I have many friends who are in the valley of despair and are dealing with very difficult circumstances. It breaks my heart to see anyone I care for suffer, but all the more so when they are totally innocent in the matter and are just victims of other people's selfishness and sin. I wish we would remember that every decision we make has tremendous impact on everyone in our sphere of influence. We are like pebbles tossed in a lake, and our ripples will touch everyone between us and the shoreline. There is no such thing as doing what's best for yourself, because we are all connected; your "personal" decisions affect many.
The injustice of the world is often hard to endure, even when we as children of the Living God have His promises to rest in. I have to admit, it is a HUGE struggle for me to lay my prayers at the throne and just walk away. I'm a doer. I'm a fixer. He knows this. And I believe that He made me this way for a reason! That's why I know He understands my struggle, but He also wants me to grow in that knowledge and know when to be still and know that HE is God.
I have a friend who has a sibling in jail, two friends raising their children while their fathers are in jail. I have friends that are dealing with a teenage daughter in a downward spiral of self-destruction. One dear friend is fighting tooth and nail to save his marriage. And yet another is dealing with the sins of her earthly father and the hurtful judgment of an entire community.
Some of these situations are staggering and unbelievably unfair.But one thing that's in the front of my mind tonight is that they are all so very heartbreaking to God. I know that as much as we are hurting, that He is hurting right along with us. The crazy thing that I often just stand in awe of, is that God sees ALL sides of these circumstances. He knows every party involved intimately, and He loves every one of His children.
We mere mortals tend to want judgment and justice. But more than anything, God wants restoration. Whether we like it or not, and definitely whether we understand it or not, EVERY SINGLE PERSON GETS A SECOND CHANCE. Yes, every single sin is forgivable to the Lord. He will restore the murderer as quickly as the gossip. He will forgive the adulterer as easily as the "little white liar". And He will heal the addict as completely as the overeater.
On the flipside of that coin - and I think the part many refuse to believe - is that God sees every single sin in the same light. Gossiping is a sin as much as is murder. Lying is just as serious as adultery. And gluttony is as despicable to Him as drug and alcohol abuse. People must remember that God is holy, and we are all but filthy rags in front of Him without the blood of Jesus Christ to cover us. And we should not wish for judgment and justice on others unless we are ready to receive it ourselves.
Our God is amazing, isn't He? I hope that some of those I'm praying for read this and remember: He holds everything together, including the most fragile heart.
Even with the excitement of waiting for May to get here, there is a lot of drama going on around me right now. Not in our family specifically. In fact, our family is actually in a very sweet spot, waiting on the Lord and leaning on each other. It's not perfect, and we still don't where He is leading us, but we are finally ok with waiting on Him to show us the next piece of His plan in His time.
Unfortunately, I have many friends who are in the valley of despair and are dealing with very difficult circumstances. It breaks my heart to see anyone I care for suffer, but all the more so when they are totally innocent in the matter and are just victims of other people's selfishness and sin. I wish we would remember that every decision we make has tremendous impact on everyone in our sphere of influence. We are like pebbles tossed in a lake, and our ripples will touch everyone between us and the shoreline. There is no such thing as doing what's best for yourself, because we are all connected; your "personal" decisions affect many.
The injustice of the world is often hard to endure, even when we as children of the Living God have His promises to rest in. I have to admit, it is a HUGE struggle for me to lay my prayers at the throne and just walk away. I'm a doer. I'm a fixer. He knows this. And I believe that He made me this way for a reason! That's why I know He understands my struggle, but He also wants me to grow in that knowledge and know when to be still and know that HE is God.
I have a friend who has a sibling in jail, two friends raising their children while their fathers are in jail. I have friends that are dealing with a teenage daughter in a downward spiral of self-destruction. One dear friend is fighting tooth and nail to save his marriage. And yet another is dealing with the sins of her earthly father and the hurtful judgment of an entire community.
Some of these situations are staggering and unbelievably unfair.But one thing that's in the front of my mind tonight is that they are all so very heartbreaking to God. I know that as much as we are hurting, that He is hurting right along with us. The crazy thing that I often just stand in awe of, is that God sees ALL sides of these circumstances. He knows every party involved intimately, and He loves every one of His children.
We mere mortals tend to want judgment and justice. But more than anything, God wants restoration. Whether we like it or not, and definitely whether we understand it or not, EVERY SINGLE PERSON GETS A SECOND CHANCE. Yes, every single sin is forgivable to the Lord. He will restore the murderer as quickly as the gossip. He will forgive the adulterer as easily as the "little white liar". And He will heal the addict as completely as the overeater.
On the flipside of that coin - and I think the part many refuse to believe - is that God sees every single sin in the same light. Gossiping is a sin as much as is murder. Lying is just as serious as adultery. And gluttony is as despicable to Him as drug and alcohol abuse. People must remember that God is holy, and we are all but filthy rags in front of Him without the blood of Jesus Christ to cover us. And we should not wish for judgment and justice on others unless we are ready to receive it ourselves.
Our God is amazing, isn't He? I hope that some of those I'm praying for read this and remember: He holds everything together, including the most fragile heart.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
This generation's workouts
We went to our friends, the Watson's house, tonight for some dinner, games and visiting. It was so nice to have some time with them, we have really missed seeing them regularly. They got an XBox Kinect for Christmas, and we played it right before leaving - we should have started the evening with this - what a riot!
So have any of you seen this? It really was a lot of fun, and I kind of got winded toward the end of the second dance! Kelly and the boys tried out the rafting game, and he said the same thing. So it leads me to this question for you: do you think it is legitimate to use your game console to log PE credits if you homeschool?
I thought it was kind of silly at first when I heard of people doing this a couple of years ago. I thought it was a cop out, and no one would really accept that as exercise. But then I got a Wii Fit board for Christmas last year. I think it is a great piece of exercise equipment. I haven't been faithful to it for months now, but I am planning on getting back into it soon.
There are some games that you don't really have to try hard on, but there are others that will give you a pretty challenging workout. I know I've seen my boys pretty redfaced after boxing each other, and I tell you, less bloody than the old fashioned way! ;)
Now with the Kinect, there's no telling how interactive you can get with these games in the future. I know when I was growing up, I loved watching my mom work out with Richard Simmons. Now I think about my kids watching me work out with my yoga avatar. With what will my grandkids be watching their mom work out?
Now don't get me wrong. I am a big outdoor person. I want to walk on the trail and ride bikes with my kids. I love to swim and play on the jungle gym with them, too. But in the winter months when we can't get out and do those things, I think it's an acceptable alternative. I don't have the money to take them to the indoor pool, or the skating rink, or the ice rink every week. And I don't have the desire to bundle up in 20 degree weather to run on my own, let alone with 4 complaining children. So will I be logging cyber-exercise hours this year? I say, hand me that nunchuk and let's do some yoga! ;)
So have any of you seen this? It really was a lot of fun, and I kind of got winded toward the end of the second dance! Kelly and the boys tried out the rafting game, and he said the same thing. So it leads me to this question for you: do you think it is legitimate to use your game console to log PE credits if you homeschool?
I thought it was kind of silly at first when I heard of people doing this a couple of years ago. I thought it was a cop out, and no one would really accept that as exercise. But then I got a Wii Fit board for Christmas last year. I think it is a great piece of exercise equipment. I haven't been faithful to it for months now, but I am planning on getting back into it soon.
There are some games that you don't really have to try hard on, but there are others that will give you a pretty challenging workout. I know I've seen my boys pretty redfaced after boxing each other, and I tell you, less bloody than the old fashioned way! ;)
Now with the Kinect, there's no telling how interactive you can get with these games in the future. I know when I was growing up, I loved watching my mom work out with Richard Simmons. Now I think about my kids watching me work out with my yoga avatar. With what will my grandkids be watching their mom work out?
Now don't get me wrong. I am a big outdoor person. I want to walk on the trail and ride bikes with my kids. I love to swim and play on the jungle gym with them, too. But in the winter months when we can't get out and do those things, I think it's an acceptable alternative. I don't have the money to take them to the indoor pool, or the skating rink, or the ice rink every week. And I don't have the desire to bundle up in 20 degree weather to run on my own, let alone with 4 complaining children. So will I be logging cyber-exercise hours this year? I say, hand me that nunchuk and let's do some yoga! ;)
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